Sarah Sol invites her readers to play along in her version of “Smash or Pass,” in which she investigates and cheerfully judges our taste in animated characters. Scan the QR code to complete the quiz!
Smash or pass? A straightforward game, right? Something you play at sleepovers with your friends, drooling over the sports captains in your class and the super hot history teacher who looks way too young to legally be a teacher.
An easy, entertaining game, supposedly. But have you ever secretly watched a movie and realised you actually wanted to smash the ant from A Bug's Life?
We all have guilty crushes we hold secretly to our chest, lusting over strange creatures from alternate universes. What if we dug up all of your deepest, darkest, odd and controversial crushes, and played a round of Smash or Pass? And I’m not talking about the girls who had crushes on Peter Pan as a child or the guys who worship Margot Robbie in the Barbie movie. I’m talking to those of you secretly attracted to Steve from Minecraft.
Haven’t we all drooled over Nick from Zootopia at least once? I’m introducing you to my round of Smash or Pass. Of course, these confessions are incredibly daring and personal; it would only be fair if they were completely anonymous. While I may be curious as to who the hell would smash Thomas the Tank Engine, I have absolutely no idea who you are.
For those of you fortunate enough to have previously taken my Smash or Pass quiz, we will absolutely be judging your answers.
SPOILERS OF THE QUIZ AHEAD!
My quiz is designed easy, starting off with attractive smashable characters… or so I thought.
Steve from Minecraft (yes the default skin) was low on the list, because who would smash a game skin? Apparently, I slept on the poor guy because 50% of individuals have been dreaming of warming Steve’s classic red bed. Am I questioning which one of my friends voted for ‘Smash’? Absolutely.
It was amusing to find just how easily influenced my audience was. Take Marlin from Finding Nemo (yes, the fish). Initially, only 25% of you would smash a fish. Though many were easily influenced merely by my offering of his good qualities. Now, 45% are willing to smash a fish, with an additional 14% voting that they cannot swim. Long-distance relationships are hard, so I do not blame you non-swimmers.
Is the fact that 43% of your peers would smash a fish concerning? Probably, but it is just a silly little quiz!
It’s comforting to know only 14% of players voted to smash Tamatoa from Moana (the giant purple crab that sings “Shiny”). Perhaps the turn-off was that he ate his grandma? Apparently not, because 63% of players would be comfortable smashing him as a sugar daddy. I get it, uni fees are expensive.
96% rejected Randall (the purple lizard from Monsters Inc). This was relieving to see. But the reasons were entertaining. Most players seemed to be turned off by his scales as they would get everywhere, and many rejected him because he was weak and had “too skinny arms and neck.” Many stated that he was mentally unstable and that you cannot trust a man who can turn invisible. But, of course, the fact that he was a literal kidnapper was a major turn-off for many.
Finally, I would like to announce that the 14% of you that would willingly smash John Mayer are a disgrace to society. As player #6 puts it nicely, “I would sooner smash every single one of the animated characters listed here before smashing John Mayer.”