Making up scenarios in your head about your crush? It’s okay, we all do it. Priyanka Sangar uncovers the realities of our romantic manifestations
If you have had a crush on someone before, you are one to know that your brain has probably manifested so many different scenarios of happily ever after. I know this feeling oh too well! I am currently sitting here with a bowl of popcorn and a glass of wine and watching Netflix’s Someone Great (2021). Having recently come out of a potentially romantic situation, my brain imagined all these different situations that could have happened. My mind would scramble together these poignant episodes, thanks to the interesting interactions I had and the many many romantic comedies.
Cosmopolitan has written about the steps of manifesting the love of your life, but how many of these are actually true? Are we actually setting ourselves up for failure when we do this? According to psychic diviner and certified Reiki practitioner, Amber Finney, we are able to create our realities through our thoughts and behaviours. Like, I can understand manifesting an apartment, a dream job, or even a holiday - but how are you supposed to manifest something that also involves someone’s fate? Many of these magazines written by many relationship experts see this airy-fairy perspective of love and finding one’s soulmate, but they fail to see what Lizzo has addressed: “Truth Hurts”.
Living in this dream where you romanticise the person you want to be with should not be taken lightly - especially since it might be far from the reality of what is actually happening. Your dreams are a compilation of stories, ideas, and images that are created in our minds. This can be done through rapid eye movement (“REM”) sleep. Most of the content that is created by dreams is based on information stored in your subconscious, a place where our desires, ego, and urges all live. They can be interpreted very differently based on a person’s experiences and upbringing. But, the thing is that life does not work through these pretty pink glasses - there is more beyond what we can actually see. Stop daydreaming and start seeing what’s actually happening.
The issue with manifestation is that there is no timeline or correct method to achieve your desired result. This can happen today, tomorrow, two or twenty years from now. There is no scientific strategy to derive how long it takes for manifestations to become true. Then things become more complicated when things don’t work or when you do everything according to plan and you don’t see results, there is a loss of hope and motivation. The science doesn’t lie - but in this case, there is little to no science to back up the effectiveness of romantic dream manifestation.
Another issue with manifestation is that the thoughts, feelings, and ideas keep building in your brain and without any action, it continues to build. Sure you can distract yourself or divert your attention, but one small thing can trigger you back into those thoughts. Though these thoughts aren’t bad, they can be toxic if it is the only thing on your mind. Therefore you need to confront it. According to healthline.com, exposure therapy is an effective method of overcoming anxieties by breaking the existing pattern. This is used in many psychological disorders to overcome the fears and anxieties individuals experience. Facing and acting upon these manifestations is the only effective way to break the cycling thoughts. However, it does not always go the way it is planned.
Look! The truth is that our minds will manifest no matter what. If you ask yourselves to not think about a white bear you will start thinking about a white bear. Our minds are always consciously and unconsciously processing our thoughts, behaviours, feelings, and emotions. The only thing I advise you to do is to not look into every thought and feeling and see it as a sign. As you get consumed in your own manifestations you will start to lose sight of what’s at hand - and that is the thoughts and feelings of the other person (your crush!), which might not always align with your thoughts and feelings. Be wary that not all of what you see through your pretty pink glasses is true.