A Lonely Lead Life

How many times can you try? Really? How many times can you try with someone until you break? Until you're numb? Until you're forgotten? 

Mine is five years. Granted, two of those were in lockdown so no one can be blamed for that. But it starts slowly, with the little things. One day it's not being invited to a group activity, which is fine; everyone can't be invited to everything, but by the end of the year they're forgetting to add you to holiday plans and birthday parties. And these guys are your 'people', you've all been friends for over ten years, seen each other through thick and thin, except for a couple new faces.

What can you do? Trying to kill the new people with kindness hasn't worked. So it goes back to: how many times can you tell them you've been forgotten and just let it fall on deaf ears?

As it so happens, I’ve reached my limit. Now there are two options: I can wallow and eventually drown in self pity (that does sound fun) or let myself accept that friendship takes both sides giving and sharing in equal amounts and it's okay that sometimes they fade; it just means you've learnt all you can from this person and it's the right time to continue on and learn from the others on your path.

I'm jumping headfirst into this ocean. I already know how rough the seas are and that I’m going to get knocked around in the waves, but eventually I’ll land somewhere beautiful.