The Tinkerer, The Shadow and Me

Editorial Assistant Emily Chan shares a moment in time, meditating on the privilege of having women to look up to.

I, Tinkerer

When I finally make it back to my workstation, I am a mess. Coffee breath (I don’t even like coffee), blood red ink trailing down my neck and chest (it’s not what it looks like, I swear; the pen exploded on me), and to top it all off, this woman—Emily, or whatever her name is—will wake in less than four hours and I am nowhere near finished updating her software! 

I pull her file open. Someone save me now. It’s ten pages long and her demands are endless. My eyes fly, searching for easy ones to start with. Her mother’s resilience—that will take time, but I can start her off on a light dose. Her sister’s adventure—okay, we can work with that. Let’s schedule an unavoidable but utterly enjoyable run in the rain that leads her to the perfect sunset location. That should do the trick. Her grandma’s cooking—now that’s just asking for too much. 

Say, how long can I legally keep her under sedation?

I, Shadow

The afternoon storm rolls in with her. She lingers in the doorway, the frills of her skirt frothing around her ankles like sea foam. The rain clings to her cheeks like tears. She has my grandma’s eyes, wide and expressive. I watch the concern spread across her face as she shimmies her shoes off on the soaked porch: she doesn’t want to muddy the floor even as the wind burns her skin and the rain flays her back. Muted light from the overcast sun caresses the flowering vines embroidered across her skirt and, subconsciously, my gaze drifts to my mum’s love-infused artistry sprinkled through the room; the knitted blanket snug on the couch, the individualised crocheted coasters with all our names stitched into the wool by hand, the worn-thin cardigan clinging to my shoulders. She mutters to herself something that unexpectedly makes me laugh. It is exactly on brand with my sister’s humour, and I can’t stop the smile that grows.  

She is all the best parts of me. 

I, Myself

And all I can really say is, how lucky am I to be shaped by women I would be honoured to be. 

by Emily Chan