Landscaping

Paul only paid half a mind to his boss droning through the computer in his home office. Instead he watched from the cramped window as his wife paced the garden. She’d been out there since she got home half an hour ago, moving methodically from corner to corner, counting her steps with her head bowed over a scrap of paper. Paul counted with her, fifteen steps, then thirty-two, his pen tapping against his lip and leaving smears of blue ink on his fingers. It wasn’t much of a yard to be honest. The grass grew long, pushing through the ancient pavement that crept from the back door to the clothesline, and the last owners had built a tiny shed against the fence, nestled into the not-so-far right corner. A branch had fallen from the neighbour’s tree in last month’s storm, leaving the metal bent and bowing. Paul had made a fuss – they still owed him a new shed – but he suspected Lily was pleased for an excuse to tear it down. 

She passed the window again, her ponytail bobbing and her pencil scrawling, then stopped and started back again. 

“Lily? What’re you doing?” Paul called through the glass.

“Landscaping,” Lily grinned, showing him the scrap of paper. She’d drawn rough rectangles across it, messy scrawls cramped in their tiny boxes. Paul squinted at them; dahlias, marigolds, thyme and strawberries – a dozen plants all shoved into tiny spots. Lily chewed on her pencil, head cocked as she watched Paul, then she pulled back the page. “I figured with the shed coming down some plants would brighten up the lot.”

“It’s a lot of work,” Paul warned, already exhausted. “You’d have to level half the yard.”

“It’ll be worth it,” Lily promised. The afternoon light lit across her, red in her cheeks and dirt smeared on her nose. She smiled at Paul. “It’ll only take a few days to clear it up.”

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” Paul said. He watched Lily uneasily, flipping his phone in his hand. “I’ll help on the weekend if I can.”

He pulled up his calendar. There’d be basketball on Friday night, and John and Sam had their housewarming on Saturday. Then Sunday was… he rolled his pen between his fingers, glancing through his phone. Ah! Jenny. Gardening was Lily’s thing anyway, and if she wanted to try out a project, Paul would only be in the way. Right up until it all fell apart and she came crying to him anyway. 

His phone vibrated and he knocked a knuckle to the glass of the window.

“Getting late, Hun,” he called through it, smirking at his phone. A second Snap came through and he turned the sound low. “Can you start dinner while I wind up work?”

“Sure. Let me just finish this one thing…” Lily called back, pacing between the fence and the clothesline. Paul pulled shut the blinds.

*

Lily was in the yard every afternoon for the rest of the week. By the time Paul was dressed and ready on Sunday, she’d all but torn the yard apart. She’d taken down the shed first, dragged the thin walls to the front for council pick-up, then pulled out the pavers too. After the rain this morning, the ground was more mud than dirt and Lily stood half soaked in it, wielding a shovel as big as she was.

“I’m heading out,” Paul called to her, white shoes safe on the back step. “Is this going to be a mess all week?”

“Gardens take time,” Lily answered, pausing to wipe sweat from her brow. 

“Well have fun,” Paul said. He shot her a sidelong glance and measured his words. “I might be home late – sounds like Keith’s having a crisis.”

“Have fun,” Lily said. Paul watched her for a moment, tapping his hand on his phone case. It buzzed silently and he turned it away.

“You feeling better?” He asked after a bit. She’d lost a bit of weight over the week, her sunburnt shoulders sticking out of a too loose tank. She looked good for it.

“Yeah, heaps,” Lily said absently. “It was probably just stress. You know how I get. But planning this is good for me.”

“Right,” Paul muttered, his brow pinching. “Look, about the other week – ”

“I’m fine, Paul,” Lily sighed and threw her back into digging. “I’m sorry I went all crazy there. Just – forget it, okay? It won’t happen again.”

“Alright,” Paul said, letting out a breath. “It’s just the boys tonight.”

“I know.” Lily sighed, back to her digging. “Have fun.”

*

When Paul logged off work on Monday, he found Lily in the kitchen already cooking dinner, her hair still wet from the shower. He snuck up behind her, arms winding around her ribs.

“Smells good,” he said against her neck. She squirmed away with a giggle but couldn’t get far. He slipped his hands down lower, dipping beneath the waist of her jeans. “Anything I can do to help?”

“It just needs to simmer for a bit,” Lily said, nudging him with her elbow. He nipped her ear and when she turned, he pulled her into a kiss, moving them from the stove to the counter.

“So you’re not busy now?” he asked, popping the buttons on her jeans with one hand.

“Come see the garden,” Lily said, pulling back again. Paul kept her in place, kissing her collarbone and working into her jeans. Lily tugged at his wrist. “Paul – ” 

“I’ll look after,” Paul promised, moving back to her lips. 

“I don’t want sex right now,” Lily said, sharper. 

“You’re not still hung up on Jenny are you?”

Paul snapped, pulling away entirely. She rebuttoned her jeans, not meeting his eyes. “For the love of – I told you nothing was going on.”

“I know,” Lily muttered.

“I thought we went over this?”

“We did,” Lily sighed. “It’s fine. I’m just tired. I’ve been in the yard all week – ”

“Do you need to go through my phone again?” Paul asked, watching her flinch.

“No! I said sorry.”

“Then just leave it,” Paul said, softer, pulling her back into his arms. He kissed her shoulder, then her neck, working his way up to her ear. “Come to the bedroom and I’ll show you how much I don’t care about Jenny.”

Lily pushed him back, her smile stiff. 

“Come see the garden,” she said again. “I want it to be a place where I can sit and think of us.”

“Fine. Show me your amazing garden then.” Paul sighed, stepping back and pushing his hair out of his eyes. 

“It’s a bit messy but remember it’ll be full of plants later,” Lily said, all but pushing Paul out the door. 

It had started raining, great drops falling faster every second, blacking out what should’ve been an otherwise bright evening. Lily didn’t seem to notice. Paul stopped just shy of the clothesline, rearing back as he took it all in. Lily had really torn through the yard now, digging a hole straight at the centre. 

“You doing a water feat – ”

Pain splintered through his head and he staggered, tipping straight into the hole. He retched and rolled face up, his vision swimming. Lily stood overhead. Dirt fell between them, shovel by shovel. He tried to stand but couldn’t seem to work out which way was up.

“I know about Jenny,” Lily said over distant thunder. “Sorry. I looked through your phone again.”

“Crazy bitch – ” Paul coughed but the words were thin, his focus shot. 

“Yeah, well,” Lily laughed, panting now as she shovelled faster. “You’re dead to me.”

Then the dirt fell over his face and the rain grew heavier.