“Not on my Pavlova!” and Other Responses to “Do You Like Vegemite?”

Explore Editorial Assistant Bethany Sharman’s quirky takes on a beloved Aussie condiment.

1. Yes! nervous laughter

2. No! nervous laughter

3. Oh look, a cat!

4. Launch into an unrelated anecdote about something else Australian to prove that you’re a True Blue Aussie™

5. Nah sorry, I already hit my lifetime quota

6. Well…not after the incident long, haunted stare into the distance

7. Oh, I eat it everyday! In fact, since you’ve got me thinking about it, I actually feel like having some right now! (Overcompensating, much?)

8. Absolutely! I use it to shine my shoes!

9. I prefer Marmite (Warning: use at your own risk)

10. No thanks, I’d rather eat [insert own equally disgusting condiment or otherwise incomprehensible food combination that could only have been born out of a dangerous surplus of free time]

11. I prefer my yeast in beer (Checkmate).

12. Astound with extravagant factual knowledge about the elaborate extraction and production processes of Vegemite to the point where they forget the initial question, your answer blurs, and all that remains is the stark image of your supposed enthusiasm

13. Yeah! It cured my mouth ulcers right up!

14. Only in tablespoon helpings (Asserting dominance, I like it)

15. Do you? Narrows eyes in intense scrutiny while internally speed-running every possible way to avoid being confronted with this question again