POP CULTURE REWIND: ROM-COM NIGHT

Break out your DVD player because Martha Florence is remembering 7 iconic rom-coms for the best cosy night in. 

I would like to preface with a disclosure: you are not about to discover something new. If you’re looking for underrated, relatively unknown movies to add to your watchlist, this is not the article for you. My taste in rom-coms is probably the most generic thing about me, and so I can say with absolute certainty you will have not only heard of, but probably have also watched everything I’ve selected for this throwback. 

However, nostalgia is what we’re aiming for, so I’m taking no complaints. With that out of the way, here is a little list of my seven faves of 90s-2010s rom-coms that formed my early teens and established my expectations for men. No, none of these have been met; yes, the bar is tragically low. It’s whatever: rom-com therapy awaits, and if no one is reassuring me they like me just as I am, then… Well, at least Bridget got her moment. 

Because all these are my favourites, and would therefore all be rated a solid 10/10, I’ve devised a little ranking system based on the following criteria. Each item will be ranked 0-5, so the highest overall rating can be 27. 

🚩 Likelihood the MMC remembers to lower the toilet seat lid: THE MAKE OR BREAK

💧 Likelihood you will be in tears by the end: TISSUE NECESSITY 

💖 Likelihood your faith in love will be restored post-watch: DATING APP REDOWNLOAD 

🎤 Likelihood you can quote the love confession by heart: SOAPBOX MOMENT

💪🏼 Likelihood the FMC would win a (theoretical or literal) fight: MISS GIRLBOSS??

Bonus question (+2 points): is there a motorbike, sexy car (or otherwise historically accurate form of transport) involved? 

So without further ado…

1. She’s the Man: Mr Do… you? … like?… cheese…?

Dare I say that this is my favourite of the favourites? We have the best we don’t discriminate based on gender!!! line, a highly realistic fear of tarantulas, and a very dependable How to be Popular with Guys Guide for Dummies. 

Featuring: lessons in small talk, the most iconic dumping of all time, and Channing Tatum frequently appearing sweaty and shirtless. 

🚩 THE MAKE OR BREAK: 3 (I feel I’m being optimistic. We’ll let it slide)

💧 TISSUE NECESSITY: 2 (We should be safe with this one)

💖 DATING APP REDOWNLOAD: 4 (A possible danger)

🎤 SOAPBOX MOMENT: 3 (Something-something kissing booth)

💪🏼 MISS GIRLBOSS: 5 (Proven in the first minute)

Bonus: indeedio! (Though said motorbike sadly features only briefly, in a vague long shot) 

TOTAL: 19

2. Pretty Woman: Mr Princess Vivian! 

The chemistry. The red dress. The black thigh-highs. And sure, I get Mr I Am Very Angry with My Father isn’t for everyone, but ladies, we all know what happens at the thought of responsible guys. Also: “Here, take my credit card” – I rest my case. Brings out the gold digger in me. My two undergrads? Redundant. My I-can-totally-open-that-jar-by-myself mentality? Childish. I’m aware I should probably be ashamed, but I really, really could not care less.  

Featuring: relatable snail-eating etiquette confusion, a buffet of condoms, and a fairy tale ending.

🚩 THE MAKE OR BREAK: 5 (Duh) 

💧 TISSUE NECESSITY: 5 (But that’s just me. Hush, I have a thing for stability)

💖 DATING APP REDOWNLOAD: 1 (Too busy crying) 

🎤 SOAPBOX MOMENT: 5 (Keep your “She saves him right back” the hell away from me) 

💪🏼 MISS GIRLBOSS: 4 (Might need a hug afterwards)

Bonus: oh yeah. (And it corners like it’s on rails) 

TOTAL: 22

3. The Proposal: Mr Why are you wet?!

Sandra Bullock, the woman you are. This film gets better as you watch it, and every time you watch it. I mean, there’s the baby-maker blanket. And the proposal with the teeny-tiny heart-shaped confetti. Prawns being released back into freedom, enemies-lovers. Oh, and Ramone. 

Featuring: Margaret + Kevin bonding sessions, the correct and acceptable version of the US anthem, and things rich people would say. 

🚩 THE MAKE OR BREAK: 4 (Benefit of the doubt) 

💧 TISSUE NECESSITY: 5 (If not, you’re a liar)

💖 DATING APP REDOWNLOAD: 3 (Reluctant, but unavoidable) 

🎤 SOAPBOX MOMENT: 5 (“I would like to date you” – oh, shut up) 

💪🏼 MISS GIRLBOSS: 2 (The eagle scene is not working in your favour, Margaret)

Bonus: yes, ma’am. (Boats are expensive, take notes) 

TOTAL: 21

4. Freaky Friday: Mr You know I’ve been thinking about that kiss.  

I love how this is a com with a side of rom. Mum-daughter bonding at its finest, aided with a little bit of magic. Freaky Friday not only gives us maids of horrors and a grade-A summary of Macbeth, but also original bangers we did not deserve and multiple guitar solos. 

Featuring: no halibut, lives that were constantly ruined, and a fab new haircut. 

🚩 THE MAKE OR BREAK: 2 (It’s high school, he’ll get there) 

💧 TISSUE NECESSITY: 4 (They make room for Ryan in their cool new unit, shut up)

💖 DATING APP REDOWNLOAD: 2 (Too busy blasting Ultimate) 

🎤 SOAPBOX MOMENT: 2 (Again, too busy singing Ultimate) 

💪🏼 MISS GIRLBOSS: 5 (Obviously)

Bonus: HELL YEAH.

TOTAL: 17

5. Legally Blonde: Mr I can’t believe you just called me a butthead.   

Remember the TikTok trend where everyone was narrating their job applications like Elle’s Harvard video? That’s nostalgia done right. Here we have the ultimate SNAP guide, the correct means to obtain the full ownership of your canine property, and tips on how to elevate your CV (perfume, pink paper).

Featuring: ways to waste the money you spend on a perm, Harvard – which is not hard to get into, and loadsss of pink. 

 🚩 THE MAKE OR BREAK: 4 (Reasonably certain) 

💧 TISSUE NECESSITY: 4 (Graduation memories)

💖 DATING APP REDOWNLOAD: 4 (Sad but true) 

🎤 SOAPBOX MOMENT: 2 (Is there one? I do remember the grad speech, though) 

💪🏼 MISS GIRLBOSS: 5 (Absolutely)

Bonus: Technically no. But my girl has her own ride, she’s cool like that.

TOTAL: 19

6. John Tucker Must Die: Mr You think my biceps aren’t big enough?!

My favourite thing about JTMD is that John doesn’t change a bit. Finally, a rom-com rooted in reality. This is all about revenge and girl power, plus a useful takeaway for rom-com enemies: if you’re going to cheat, at least expand your restaurant repertoire. 

Featuring: reasons why you do not need a guy. You’re welcome. 

🚩 THE MAKE OR BREAK: 0 (I’m just as depressed as you are.) 

💧 TISSUE NECESSITY: 0 (My girl wins.)

💖 DATING APP REDOWNLOAD: 0 (Girls rule.) 

🎤 SOAPBOX MOMENT: 5 (“You are not him,” snap-snap-snap.) 

💪🏼 MISS GIRLBOSS: 5 (Quod erat demonstrandum.)

Bonus: Yeah. We do not approve, but we can still appreciate it.

TOTAL: 12

7. Tangled: Mr You Were My Dream

Is this a rom-com? Technically, no. Do I care? Also no. This is my nostalgia list, and I say Tangled stays. There are frying pans and smouldering and de-tangling skills most hairstylists can only dream of. Also, castles and princesses and super suave criminals who are totally not on the run. 

Featuring: a time when Botox would’ve saved some major issues, disgracefully incorrect wanted posters, and a ten-hour hair care routine. 

 🚩 THE MAKE OR BREAK: 1 (Regrettably, Eugene, we’re not impressed)

💧 TISSUE NECESSITY: 5 (It’s the stupid lights and the harmonising. What’s a girl gotta do?)

💖 DATING APP REDOWNLOAD: 3 (I’m more likely to have a Disney marathon) 

🎤 SOAPBOX MOMENT: 5 (“You were my dream” – go to hell, Eugene) 

💪🏼 MISS GIRLBOSS: 5 (Tried and tested. My girl’s a pro)

Bonus: abso-freaking-lutely. (She can use her own hair as a swing. Environmentally friendly and insanely cool) 

TOTAL: 21